…hindsight is 2020?

Towards the end of 2020 I posted a meme on my personal instagram that said

“Nobody claim 2021 as “your year”. We’re all going to walk in real slow. Be good. Be quiet. Don’t. Touch. Anything.”

So now I’m going to ask…who broke 2021? Because as far as I can tell we are entering in another dumpster fire of epic proportions.

So far we are only 6 days into the New Year. Six…freaking…days….And so far we have had a massive failing with the IRS, another election (results still pending), hospitals that are having to ration care, and a whole new level of the pandemic (Indiana is currently sitting at a 15+% positivity rate).

On a personal level, the doctors in charge of my care have decided it is the best course of action to stop my current treatment for my auto-immune disorders/lung issues. It isn’t that they aren’t going to treat me….I just need to get the old meds out of my system and await delivery of the new medications from the distributor. What this means is that for the next 6-8wks I will have eosiniphils building up in my body potentially drowning my lungs. For those who have followed me since the beginning you’ll remember that this is what put me in the ICU 2-3yrs in a row.

To make matters even more complicated the new treatment – if I understand correctly – is done every 4wks instead of 8wks. If I react the same way I did to the first treatment course I will have 24-48hrs where I feel like absolute hell then I gradually feel somewhat better. Rinse and repeat every treatment. This is going to be a logistical nightmare with virtual learning.

Speaking of virtual learning….any other full time virtual learning warriors out there? If so…how are you coping? Are the kids doing well? My son Jakobe (autistic, adhd, dmdd) is thriving. His grades are fabulous (A’s and B+’s) and he doesn’t miss the “social construct” of trying to fit in with classmates. Esmae? My dear social butterfly….is doing well academically (straight A’s first semester) but misses that social aspect sooooooooo much. This dynamic doesn’t surprise me much, though, since she’s always been Miss. Popualarity.

As for how I’m doing with social isolation….I have conflicting feelings. For the most part I am a homebody. At times I’ve even become borderline agoraphobic (PTSD related). I naturally do not NEED to be around other people, but I do find people enjoyable – for the most part – in limited doses. But…as much as an introvert as I am…even I am struggling.

It is the small things you miss…like being able to pick out your own groceries at the store. Or thrift shopping. Oh man do I miss a good day of thrift shopping…but I wouldn’t DARE during the pandemic. As much as I love to shop local and small, Amazon, Walmart, and Kroger have gotten a lot of my money since the pandemic started. Unfortunately those are just the options available to me for home delivery or grocery pickup. I know, I’m failing at this “shop small” thing….but I do as much shopping small as much as I can within the limits of what I’m looking for.

I miss being able to just meet up for a cup of coffee on a good day…and feel “relatively” safe – as safe as a woman walking alone can, ya know? Now its like you sometimes look around and wonder “Do they have Covid?”. It is really hard being a part of the “at risk of death” group…and I wish society had just a tad bit more compassion, grace, and understanding about what people like ME are dealing with.

With that said, though….I’m not going to stop living entirely. I’ve cancelled every single boudoir event I have planned since the pandemic started. Some because hotels were closed. Some because I could not secure adequate disinfectant/sanitizer. Not anymore. I’m geared up and ready to go. I’m going to be taking all the precautions I can to make this safe for me, and my clients…and boy am I excited.

2020 was SUPPOSED to be my year…but it wasn’t. But I’m going to do my part to try and make 2021 as great as I can. I’m giving away sessions both on my FB page AND my new FB VIP group, I’ve got plans for Easter composites if shutdowns continue, outdoor mini sessions, special cap/gown Senior mini sessions, and I’ve even started planning for the next Holiday season. Busy, busy.

One thing is for sure….hindsight really is 2020…and I should have invested in stock of coffee, creamer, and cheap wine….

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